What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 09:43
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
What is the more common way to say "you're welcome" in French: “De rien” or “Pas de problème”?
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
But, we were locked up after school.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
What are the most outrageous violations of restaurant buffet etiquette have you seen?
Im dying but, im not bitter.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I was very sick at this time too.
What is the boldest and craziest thing your mother has ever done for you?
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Comes on , in middle age.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
What blowjob techniques do you use for your man to cum inside your mouth?
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I write beautiful poetry .
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Especially a lifetime of it.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
And i lived it daily.
This is soul school!.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
How do schizophrenia symptoms change throughout the day?
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Was to survive, this bastard.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
What happens when you need emergency surgery in countries with universal healthcare vs the US?
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Can you recommend a simple song with an awesome solo? What makes the solo stand out?
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Would this be the day?
Is it possible for the AfD to ever win the chancellorship in Germany?
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
What are the most meaningful Jewish jokes that reveal insights about Jewish culture?
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I don,t even have a pension.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
But it wasn’t much.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
My life is so biszare .
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I think the readers, may guess!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
She married twice! .
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I never cut or harmed myself..
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Who then, do I blame.?
So, i spoilt her more .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
She loved him until the end.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I couldn’t, believe it.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
When she asked me how she looked .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
She was in good health!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
It was going to be , some day.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I waited trembling.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I was scared of men, in general
My family never makes their pension either.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I could never make a relationship work though!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I will be 64.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
One cannot live in the past .
Put me off passion for life!!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
All the time i was locked up.
Im still living with it.
I was 9 years of age.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I said to her
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
He knew the spot.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
As i do to all so called friends.?
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I have no regrets .
(And it was in our own minds.)
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Ive learnt so much.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
We were not on the streets..
We all went to grammer schools
What did i know ?
She found it foreign!.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
She wouldn,t have been !
So whats the point in blame.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
He resisted the act ,that day.
I was seconnd youngest,
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.